You mean I'm the enemy?

You mean I'm guilty of treason?

People will come to see the Great American Pyramid

So, let's get folks back to work!

"To all of my detractors,

I want to push back on the idea that my head is shaped like a peanut."

They award flatulence?

No, they award fraudulence!

It doesn't matter what country he was born in

he'll strike down any man on earth

The King has sent me...

so get down on your knees! Otherwise you will be subject to severe pain, loss of acute motor skills, and/or possibly death.

Guilty, or not guilty

how should I know? All I know, sir, is that you're going to need a very convincing wig from now on.

I'd Bonk Them Over Their Heads!

A picture of, purportedly, Humdinger resting in the sun

said Hubert Humdinger, upon hearing there was one active firing squad still left in the United States.

Rusty but eager,

the old Utah Gentlemen's firing squad is hungry for practice

These cars don't just blow up

at least not usually.

Sometimes they pick your heroes for you

but how would you know?

If you can't translate that,

you're missing out.

Please, won't you let us spy on you?

For the love of God! Let us spy on you.

This woman doesn't like to pay full price

photo by Mutter Erde

and neither does Marshalls! So stop on in today and find great bargains and bottom-of-the-barrel prices made possible by enslaving children in China and Indonesia to work 18 hour days for a few cents an hour.

Finally, kids who grew up playing video games

having been given a real world chance to use their skills.

Why am I so rich and famous?

Even I can't figure it out!

Kim Kardashian's allotment in this life suggests staggeringly pristine & servile past lives

Goddammit I'm An Asshole!

Goldman Sachs CEO does the math, admits he really is an asshole

"We hate when kids get killed

but damn it's great for a much-needed ratings boost," says a crumbling CNN.

Sandy Hook children caught in bidding war by music industry

With swords drawn and ready

the band of rogue warriors realized the Vikings had beaten them to it.

He was so good at meditating

he didn't realize his house was on fire.

Your Trendy Liberal Outlet

is enough to keep the conversation going.

Did you hear it on NPR?

They Stood Tall As Palm Trees

"with blond hair and ruddy skin. They are tattooed from "fingernails to neck" with dark blue or dark green "tree patterns" and other "figures" and that all men are armed with an axe and a long knife."(source)

For those of us with a lingering Viking's savagery left in our refined DNA.

Nations are warned

when their sycamores are struck down. 

Can you eat it all

and still go shopping the next day?

The Sweat In Your Pizza

Can you taste the hard work? Can your distinguish from the cheese and pepperoni that taste of musk from the drops of sweat that rolled off the wet forehead of the man who spread the toppings on your behemoth pizza?

Thank the wage slaves who made it possible.

Good job! You voted

for Wall Street.

We could really blast off into deep space

if only we didn't have to spend all our money killing all the terrorists first.

You people

have lost your vision.

Rising tide of chaos in the Middle East

should not be blamed on Barack Obama or George Bush Jr, but instead on Pluto moving into Capricorn.

Here's your endorsement: I wear a special pair of Nikes

just to use the toilet.