Teleport Yourself Directly into the Political Process

Teleportation is real. Trust me, and trust Dr Bruce Goldberg (read more here)

A secret July 4th meeting

(credit: Elgaard)

Back alley deficit talks and debt ceiling negotiations. Obama. Boehner. Only one man left standing (read more here)

Your Penis & Your Fingers

Penis size study says the sizes of both are directly linked.

My homeless buddy, Johnny, certainly thinks so (read more here)

I'm Blowing up My Fireworks on July 5th

So the celebration can continue! (read more here)

Cover Him in Cheese & Stuff him Into a Pizza Box

What is a real black man? Not Obama. Ask Herman Cain for details (read here)

Glenn Beck Largely Influenced My Online Writing Career

(credit: David Shankbone)

Ride, Glenn, ride! (read more here)

Obama's A Dick...Well, Yeah! We Know!

Mark Halperin suspended by MSNBC for calling Obama a dick. Everybody's apologizing, but nobody is seriously looking into the accusation (read more here)

Esquire Sued by Birthers

Why can't I get a lawsuit for the nasty things I've written? (read more here)

Flesh Eating Cocaine in Los Angeles

It'll eat your nose! (read more here)

A Stark Warning Issued about Financial Reform & Bloodsucking Leeches

Dodd-Frank financial reform destined to fail, says Thomas Hoenig (read more here)

Hatred of God

One nation under God. Liberalism is rooted in the hatred of God.

But Todd Akin loves him a good invasion of Iraq. Destroying a nation that is home to 26 million people? On the side of God?

What about rampant consumerism? (read more here)

Americans Give Big Banks the Ominous Thumbs Down

(credit: CC-BY-2.5.)

A firing squad for half a dozen guilty bankers! (read more here)

Gay Rights Vote in New York

Bill Burroughs and Andrew Sullivan put it into perspective for us (read more here)

Muammar Gaddafi In Your Bed!

(credit: Ricardo Stuckert/PR)

Hillary Clinton wants to know, Do you love him? (read more here)

Erase the Hate, Motherfuckers!

The title is too harsh. I would erase it if I knew where the 'delete' button was on this old keyboard.

I received a letter from an old friend, ex-Hollywood stripper Sugar Rogers, detailing her concerns for gay rights in this country (read here)

Pencil Missile Drops on Alabama

The first predator drone strike on U.S. soil (read here)

Rebecca Black Suicides Force Young Pop Star to Remove Friday Video from YouTube

(Derek Bridges)

Police are still investigating the "Rebecca Black suicides" (read here)

Even Mitt Romney is Unemployed, You Bum!

Romney is looking for a job too, so all those homeless people should cool it (read here)

The Sarah Palin Emails: We Locked the Girl in a Cage

(credit: Frank K.)

But it was a nice cage! (read here)

Newt Straddled Me In an American Dream

(picture by Simon Dodd)

I haven't been the same since. He whispered conspiracy 'stuff' into my ear (read here)