I'd wipe my butt with the Constitution

credit: Gage Skidmore

if it meant I could make more money.

What?

It's just paper. It's not even nice paper. It's cheap.

Either way, don't get so excited. I prefer toilet paper, but I'm just saying...

Donald Trump is a piece of trash

credit: Gage Skidmore

..but then again, so are the rest of us.

Butt-to-Head Hair Transplant; Trump's out for 2012

The Donald quits his 2012 run for president. Rumors have emerged that his hair on his head had been transplanted from his butt by a little-known doctor in Tennessee (read here)