Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Only this...

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credit:  Boss Tweed could make Hillary Clinton seem sensible and moderate.
Saturday, November 28, 2015

It's not easy...

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credit:  Mason Wendell ...and, in fact, there's still a lot of PR work to be done in jockeying to be the official drink of the Anti...
Thursday, November 26, 2015

He kept rereading the damned thing...

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to try and find where it said you couldn't be Muslim in the United States .
Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Leaders of Gog & Magog?

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"Listen. Let me be clear. There's only room on this planet for one of us."
Friday, November 20, 2015

I'd wipe my butt with the Constitution

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credit: Gage Skidmore if it meant I could make more money. What? It's just paper. It's not even nice paper. It's cheap....
Monday, October 26, 2015

You'll stand just like this when the other army shows up

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and they'll stand good and tidy just like you. Naturally we'll let them take the first shot, then it'll be our turn. By God,...
Sunday, October 25, 2015

Margaret's hernia made it nearly impossible

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to hit the high note every. single. time.
Saturday, October 24, 2015

You boys are going to be so much happier

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to get off the land, get settled, and start being Americans. It's gonna change your life. I've got two words for you: Betty Croc...

I had my girlfriend over last night

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credit: Jimbo Wales and me and her pretty much solved the federal budget crisis in just under an hour. It's like, duh, Obama.
Friday, October 23, 2015

To get the dream house, he worked hard, took an extra shift, forced his wife to find a better job, hardly saw the kids,

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and then he died a little earlier than expected.

Donald Trump is a piece of trash

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credit: Gage Skidmore ..but then again, so are the rest of us.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015

It started as a party trick

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and ended as an experience for the community:
Monday, October 19, 2015

I published many great books, then I got old and I died

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You will too.

With all this talk about terrorism

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I'm sure glad we had some relevant literature in the bomb shelter.

Yeah, I know you know that we send weapons to ISIS

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but if you knew what I knew and how I came to know it, you'd understand that I'm doing what's right.

It's 7PM...do you know where your cat is?

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Let's get serious. The predators are real.

They Asked Me To Do Larry David Years Ago

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And I said, Hello no!
Thursday, October 15, 2015

My Servant Almost Reminds Me of My Husband

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Who was, if you'll remember, the first , first black president.

To Everyone Who Says I Couldn't Have Read the TPP As A Senator Because It's Secret

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I'll let you in on a little secret. I helped plan it while with the Council on Foreign Relations.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Oh Glorious Cookies & Cream!

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It's Hillary's favorite ice cream.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013

If Bradley Manning is guilty of espionage...

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then so is this guy: and this guy:
Tuesday, July 30, 2013

By God, you've got the fighting spirit of George Armstrong Custer

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but you just can't grow a goddamned mustache
Monday, July 29, 2013

You mean I'm the enemy?

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You mean I'm  guilty of treason ?
Monday, July 22, 2013

People will come to see the Great American Pyramid

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So, let's get folks back to work!
Friday, July 19, 2013

"To all of my detractors,

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I want to push back on the idea that my head is shaped like a peanut ."

They award flatulence?

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No, they award fraudulence !
Thursday, July 18, 2013

It doesn't matter what country he was born in

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he'll strike down any man on earth
Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The King has sent me...

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so get down on your knees ! Otherwise you will be subject to severe pain, loss of acute motor skills, and/or possibly death.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Guilty, or not guilty

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how should I know? All I know, sir, is that you're going to need a very convincing wig from now on.

I'd Bonk Them Over Their Heads!

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A picture of, purportedly, Humdinger resting in the sun said Hubert Humdinger, upon hearing there was one active firing squad still le...