Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Friday, November 20, 2015

I'd wipe my butt with the Constitution

credit: Gage Skidmore
if it meant I could make more money.


It's just paper. It's not even nice paper. It's cheap.

Either way, don't get so excited. I prefer toilet paper, but I'm just saying...

Monday, October 26, 2015

You'll stand just like this when the other army shows up

and they'll stand good and tidy just like you. Naturally we'll let them take the first shot, then it'll be our turn. By God, we might lick 'em this time.

Saturday, October 24, 2015

You boys are going to be so much happier

to get off the land, get settled, and start being Americans. It's gonna change your life. I've got two words for you: Betty Crocker.

I had my girlfriend over last night

credit: Jimbo Wales

and me and her pretty much solved the federal budget crisis in just under an hour. It's like, duh, Obama.